Hello Orlandoans! (wow we need a better name)
As your friendly neighborhood handy-man, I will be posting articles on here from time to time full of expert tips and tricks to help build you and your family a cozier, more exciting home! Or just insider advice from my hardware days as a Fastenerd and my stint as a Quality Engineer. So get jazzed!
I’m still busy swinging around pulling all the strings to get everything ready with my cool new website, but in the meantime, I’d like to share a quick sample of the professional knowledge you’re in for (this one’s fun, but they’ll get much more technical in the future… still fun though) – It’s time for… [in announcer voice] The IKEA Pro Tip Series!
IKEA Pro Tip #13 – Blue Light Special, Aisle 13. Cookies!
This classic will position you as an expert among your closest peers. Even Shelley Long and Jenny Lewis would probably be impressed! (do you know the Muffler Man? I wanna say Nefler was his name) Ok, sorry, here we go:
When you first arrive, park near the exit. This has the all-important adult element of escaping-the-parking-lot-quicker, but it also has something even sweeter.
Ignore the entrance and instead enter through the exit. Head toward the grocery section and grab yourself a sleeve of cookies and a drink (or your preferred poisons). Then head toward the beginning of the maze atop the escalator… PREPARED!
You don’t want to be a couple miles into IKEAland and get caught out by hunger pangs. Or worse, parchedness. Sure there are swedish meatballs and lingonberry juice waiting in the cafeteria, but how? HOW do you get there in this labyrinth?! You need sustenance NOW!
Finish out that $3700 shopping trip with your cookie-stuffed face held high, for you are a true Hylian Warrior! 🛡⚔
~
Charles
Your friendly neighborhood handy-man
Sea Level Home Solutions